Tag: Pastor’s wife

Leadership Is… Loving Being A Pastor’s Wife #313

Guest blog from Bradyn Schellenberg.

“What’s it like being a pastor’s wife?”

On my best days, when I feel God’s love strongly and appreciate the blessings he’s given, I am so grateful for the privilege it is to be a pastor’s wife. However, life is not full of “best days”. In short, I’d say that being in ministry is difficult, demanding and draining BUT tremendously rewarding.

The long answer entails so much more. Being a pastor’s wife isn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced before. Like my entrance into motherhood, it started in a way that I could have never fully prepared myself for. As a mom-to-be, I read books, blogs and heard from other moms about the sleepless nights, the temper tantrums, the overwhelming love you feel when you meet your baby for the first time, but no amount of preparation, no amount of baby proofing the house or bulk diaper buying beforehand, could have prepared me for what was to come.  In the same way, I wasn’t prepared in advance to be a pastor’s wife. Jesse and I were a couple years into marriage. He was working in the business world and was very successful in climbing the corporate ladder. I was working full time as a teacher – loving the community I found among my teacher friends. This lasted for a time and then Jesse said to me one day that he wanted to start taking some seminary classes. The next thing we know, we’re invited to a church in another community where Jesse takes on his first job as a real life pastor. It all happened so fast and much of our experience was kind of unexpected, but God orchestrated it all and his timing is so perfect. Just like my entrance into motherhood, my step into life as a pastor’s wife is all about the learning along the way.

The work that my husband and I are in is more than an occupation, it’s a lifestyle. Some might read this and think, “Wait, isn’t it just your husband who works for the church?” To that question, I would answer, yes, Jesse works for the church, however we share a unique calling together. My husband, Jesse doesn’t exactly punch his time card at the end of the day and head for home, turning all areas of work out of his mind. No, in ministry you’re always on. Phone calls can come in all hours of the day. People still need help, direction, prayer, a listening ear. Jesse will jump back into his car after coming home and will head over to the hospital to be with people who are sick or dying. We open up our home regularly to people from all walks of life, some strong in the faith and others weary and with questions. Among all these circumstances, I have the joy of seeing my husband flourish in a calling he’s realized and followed.  The part I play in this calling is this: I have the responsibility and concern of helping hold up his weary arms when ministry is hard, to encourage him and be excited with him when ministry is bright, to listen, to love, to take care of our family, and to be his constant companion and helper in this ‘together calling’. 

The thing is, despite the busy and exhausting lifestyle we live, I thank God for the call that he has placed on our lives, and for the constant learning along the way. I’m proud of how hard Jesse works to serve the people God has entrusted to him to lead and shepherd. I love being a pastor’s wife and I am privileged to be a part of the ministry of the church.

Leadership is … the joy of sharing a calling

Yours in Service,

Bradyn Schellenberg
Guest Blogger


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Leadership Is Picking Up The Gauntlet #260

I love being the wife of a man who is a pastor. I distinctly remember a time as a young person deciding that being married to a pastor lacked calling, distinction, passion, or imagination plus it scared me to death! Certainly not what I wanted for my life. I had dreams of serving my Lord as a teacher on a mission field with an equally zealous man.

Mission accomplished! Teacher…check! Missionary…check! Man with Godly zeal… check!

My life was being played out as I had prayed and planned full of calling, distinction, passion, and imagination!  Living the dream… my dream.

Then God moved.

And my husband felt God’s call to, you guessed it, the pastorate. Wow! Without even consulting me!! My perfect dream… poof! Lord, why?

Well…suffice to say, I struggled for much of our first years in pastoral ministry. I fought (first loudly, then quietly) and resented God’s trajectory for our life. I remember one particular conversation I had with Father. I said with fear, “But, Lord, what if it all goes south? What if taking this pastorate leaves us hurting and wounded, Lord?” I remember the Holy Spirit whispering to me, “Will you trust me even if it does?” It was a gauntlet of love thrown.

“Will you, Wendy?”

I picked it up.

Fast forward ten years to today. I had chuckled much like Sarah did upon hearing about Isaac… the sweet, redeeming, irony of the Creator’s plans. Today, with joy, I see my life, as if I’m watching from the best theatre box seat owned by the Great KING himself and I, His child. I sit beside Him, front and center, watching and responding to an epic story of His creation and created ones. He shows me things too marvelous for words. He urges me to respond with gladness or tears. He moves me and outfits me with love towards His people. He compels me to engage Him on behalf of His people by standing in the gap by prayer. Where I sit as a partner in my husband’s ministry, I have the privilege to see and experience by His invitation God’s redemptive work first hand. This is such a beautiful gift, one filled with calling, distinction, passion and full of scope for the imagination.

Why do I love being the wife of a pastor?  I love the view from the front row seats.

Leadership is picking up the gauntlet of love.

Our Guest Blogger, Mrs. Wendy Fletcher, is a skilled Puppeteer, Drama and Children’s Director, wife of Rev. Mike Fletcher at Drumheller Fellowship Baptist Church and the mother of three dynamic grown children. It has been my privilege to call them friends for the last 15 years.

Yours in Service,

Laurie D. Kennedy
Leadership Coach

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